Are Sport Parents a Bigger Problem Today?

(first posted on the NWCA Youth Sport blog)

Sport parents are getting as much press as professional athletes these days. And, it is not in a positive way. "Bench the parents" (1) and "Are Parents Ruining Youth Sports" (2) reflect the mood towards sport parents in the US. Parents are often seen as crazy and the root of all issues in youth sport.

Coaches want more resources on working effectively with parents? Link to my webinar on the Resources page.

The "crazy sport parent" has become modern lingo for parents that are overinvolved, controlling, too demanding, and outright just annoying and dangerous. I talk with sport parents frequently in my work as a sport psychology consultant. It is funny to me when a parent is about to try and convince me of their decisions about their child's sport and he or she prefaces it with "I am not one of those crazy parents." There is great concern about the actions of parents on our fields and courts. But, are parents really that much worse today?

The Nerves of Playing in the Olympics

"Every match here for me is like a final." - Switzerland's Roger Federer

The importance of the Olympics is not lost on Roger Federer, nor his opponents in the 2012 Olympic Tennis competition. The Olympics come around once every four years and the players are treating this competition with a specialness that may surpass the Slams.

"I am just happy to go through for my country. I hope I will continue like this." - France's Jo Wilfried Tsonga

With the amount of importance placed on the Olympics there is a corresponding rise in anxiety. Many seeded players looked nervous in their first round matches. Many survived the early round nerves, but not all. Berdych and Radwanska both fell in the first round and Djokovic and Federer survived scares.

Elena Baltacha Reframes Pressure: Olympic Quote of the Day

Elena Baltacha of Great Britain discussed the pressure of playing for her country in the London Olympics. 

ELENA BALTACHA:  I was quite nervous before the match. I think once I put my GB gear on, it relaxed me more because I've been looking forward to this for such a long time. I thought, you know, I've got an amazing opportunity. That kind of relaxed me a bit more. Once I started going on court, seeing all the home support, them getting right behind me, that kind of got me more confident and kind of more relaxed. So it was lovely. (Quote from ITF website)

Baltacha's perspective on the immense pressure of representing your country in a home Olympics is an excellent example of reframing. Reframing is a mental technique where you take a situation and how you are thinking about and frame it in a different way. Baltacha was thinking about the pressure of playing in the Olympics. When putting on the GB gear she was able to frame the situation differently - "I've got an amazing opportunity".

Something else I want to point out. She said she relaxed when she put on her gear. To get your mind in control many times you need to relax, usually by taking some deep breaths and exhaling to let go of the tension, so you can focus your mind on more effective thoughts. Combining relaxation with mental techniques such as reframing allows you to take stressful situations and see them as opportunities. This in turn helps you to look forward to big matches. It is amazing how just looking forward to something is enough to allow you to play well.

Andre Agassi on Focusing on Executing the Game Plan

Tennis is like a game of chess. Your opponent makes one move and you react and make your move. It is an ongoing battle of action and reaction. The ability to read your opponent and the situation is crucial to success. Those players that have great "IQ", "Smarts", "Court Awareness" are excellent at reading the situation and making good decisions.

Decision making, like many things in sport, is affected by a player's focus, stress, confidence, goals, game style to name a few things as well as by the opponent, momentum, score and so on. If a player can impose his or her game plan on an opponent chances are that he or she will win. However, if the opponent can dictate play chances are that you will lose.

Errani Defeats Stosur with Her Mind at the French Open

Sam Stosur talking about her French Open semi final loss to Sara Errani, "You're always going to be a bit nervous going into a semi - it's the semifinal of a Slam, of course you're going to be nervous." Stosur overcame those nerves to play brilliant tennis and defeat Serena Williams at the 2011 US Open. Today, however, it was her opponent than managed the nerves better.

Peter Bodo at tennis.com gives an interesting take on the match between Stosur and Errani (French Open Errani d. Stosur). His opinion is that Errani won with her mind. Despite it being an up and down affair, in the end Errani held strong as she broke Stosur and then won four straight points to serve out the match. Errani held her nerve despite losing a break in the third set.

Trusting Your "Stuff" Essential to Performing in the Clutch

In my consultations with tennis players I will often refer back to Cliff Lee, in his first stint pitching with the Philadelphia Phillies, talking about his Game 1 World Series performance against the New York Yankees. On the road Lee shut down the strong Yankee offense. When asked afterwards how he was so calm Lee talked about having put the work in practice to be prepared - and then just trusting that he was ready.

Dan Rouhier posted about Lee's confidence under pressure and that post Game 1 interview on the Ahead in the Count blog.

How Do You Handle Pressure?

I relate this story to tennis players because they often struggle under pressure with hitting the kind of ball they normally would. If you have put the work in you can trust that the game will be there when you need it. Your balls will land in the court. Just go for it!

As a coach remind your player that all he or she needs to do is trust their stuff and play their game. While this may seem simplistic it is the kind of reassurance and simple thinking needed to excel in pressure moments.

Like Tom Brady, Roger Federer faces pressures of own success and time

Tom Brady and Roger Federer are facing similar pressures of having to live up to their own success while their careers begin to wind down.

Tom Brady is considered one of the greatest quarterbacks in the history of the NFL. How, then, is it possible that Eli Manning, who has received as much skepticism as he has accolades, has beaten Brady twice in the Super Bowl? I would venture to say that Manning also outplayed Brady in those Super Bowls, was able to drive his team down the field on the last drive of the game to win each time, while Brady was not able to perform at his best in the fourth quarter of Super Bowl XLVI.